The Selfishness Virus & The Happiness Pump

The Selfishness Virus & The Happiness Pump

Good Morning,
today I would like to talk about a topic which I use to think a lot about.

I believe there are two distinct types of selfishness, and frankly until recently I was really only actively aware of one of these types.

—-
Explicit Selfishness: The working definition of this relates when when someone intentionally puts themselves above others. Usually from a self-limiting believe, or overcompensation after previous events. Whichever the reasons, this person actually believe that they are better, and is aware that they tread on others… however, in their mind, since they are ‘better’ they allow it. These people also tend to recognize selflessness in others, and they sometimes take advantage of it.
I think this type of selfishness would be harder to change, as one would need to unwind the false-belief in order to alter the expressed behavior.

Implicit Selfishness: This is the main topic of this article. Implicit Selfishness has the same effect, but the motivation is very different. This type of selfishness can be seen in people who experience desperation. When we are closer to the lower self (in this context I mean, the short-term present moment hedonistic response, eg. Seek Pleasure and Avoid Pain). This leads to an ignorance due to excessive self-focus.
—-

Now, lets talk about a virus. Especially now, we see how a virus can spread infecting others leading to an exponential spread. Lets keep this in mind as we explore the selfishness topic in more detail.

The Happiness Pump
The happiness pump is a flawed philosophical view which happens when ones goal is to maximize happiness in others. Sure this sounds like a good thing, however, sometimes saying no is the best way to future happiness. If a parent gave into all their children’s desires they would not end of being their happiest. Remember, the Golden Rule does not say to treat others better than yourself, but rather to treat others as you would treat yourself.

Enter Agent Smith Selfish
Remember in the Matrix 2 when Agent Smith started copying himself into other, making others like how he was?

Have you ever been in a scenario where you acted altruistic (being good for the reason of being good) to another, only to have yourself left feeling manipulated?

I am a firm believer that it always takes two to tango.
There is never one sided blame. In this vein, it is also true that while we cannot control what happens to us, we can control how we respond to what happens to us.

Someone living in accordance to the ideals of the ‘happiness pump’ is actively is not valuing their self-worth like they should. This flaw then can get exploited by these people who are operating closer to their lower self.
In this, the blame does not rest 100% with either person.

However, this does not change the potential consequence.
An interaction with someone is much like a transaction. If someone who was acting like a happiness pump, developed the false belief that being selfless just lead to manipulation they may stop acting selfless.

If this version of ethics was like a computer program, this utilitarian view has a pretty big bug. Selfish, perhaps unconsciously, could exploit this flaw to produce selfish benefits; however, in doing so, this signal of manipulation has the potential to corrupt the selfless person causing them to develop protections which in-term result in them acting more selfish.

Imagine,
so many people running this version of the ethics code, only to have that vulnerability result in pain. Slowly the selfishness starts to spread into people who actually were selfless people.
Much like Agent Smith in the Matrix, it begins to spread like a virus.

I believe that selfishness is the biggest problem in this world right now.
It is the core behind so many of the modern challenges in this world.

Not so much that explicit selfishness, I mean there is that, but it is easy to see, recognize and self-correct. This implicit selfishness is subtle, and since we tend to compare ourselves to others, as the virus spreads the entire set of comparison moves towards selfishness. Meaning that if we just compare ourselves to other we will not see the change as it happens.

This reminds me of the boiled frog fable.
Drop a frog in a small amount of boiling water in a skillet and he jumps to safety; however, if you start with warm water and slowly heat it up the frog will not be aware of it until he is cooked!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the Solution? Awareness, Understanding, and Correct Focus.
First, let’s stop comparing ourselves to others.
I started envisioning my best self, a sort of higher self which is more in-tune with the big picture. It is so easy to know what you do not want, but that focus only attracts that. Find out what you, what your higher self really aspires to become. This gives us a better vantage point, after all, just do your best; it doesn’t matter if it is good enough to someone else.

How though do we stop the virus?
Since the immune system does not stop this kind of virus, how do we restore balance to the world? We need some sort of ‘Anti-Virus’, something which is capable of spreading like the virus, but where it leads to healing.

The Answer is Love

I am not being cheesy here or metaphorical, I am being literal.
Love allows us to recognize the essence of the oneself reflected in others.
That Together we live; Together we suffer;
Together we reflect; and Together we grow.

~~
The person who was acting like a happiness pump was loving others, but not loving their selves; just as, those acting selfishly and abusing generosity was loving their selves, but not others.

In both cases, Togetherness was forgotten.
Love reminds us how the universe reflects.

Remember,
the Golden Rules is about Loving others, Loving your self and the grace of togetherness which comes from that. Treating others like you want to be treated only works when you truly love your self, and others.

I believe that as people feel Love that the confusion in their mind will resolve. Suddenly people won’t act like a happiness pump, but rather they will act our of pure care. The selfish person will not be tempted by the happiness pump’s flaw and the ‘selfishness virus’ transmission will stop. At this point, from the new caring perspective those individual who had been affected by unconscious selfishness will naturally heal.

Behaviors are the Symptoms,
Thoughts, Believes, and Feelings, that is the Source.